Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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