What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you didnt know i had herpes?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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