I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
