Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
