cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
