That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
