I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
