Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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