I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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