So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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