You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
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I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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