She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
