just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
