obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
