Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
