five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
