were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
