Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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