She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
