I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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