drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
