did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
