Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
