Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
