new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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