meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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