do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
