are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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