I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
