Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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