what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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