$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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