Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
How external is "for external use only"?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Panties = found
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
