We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
