i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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