someone get that fucking seahorse.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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