eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
