how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
