Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
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I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
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I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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