mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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