Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
