Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
