I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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