He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
