well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize
