there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
