They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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