I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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