I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
