I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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