No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He shit in the fireplace
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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