i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
