My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
