is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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