how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
