oh god the rape fog is back!
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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